You're my everything
by japa01
Summary: Post 11x22 ("She's leaving home") This story is about how Meredith's life continues after she moved back to Seattle. There will also be a lot of surprises for Meredith and the Grey Sloan Memorial family.
1. Shock of Surprises

Meredith's POV

It has almost been a year since Derek has passed away and I still cannot believe it. I missed him so much. It is going to be better, but it will never be the same again. His side of the bed will always be empty and cold. He will never meet Ellis. He will never play soccer with Bailey. He will never walk Zola down the aisle or Ellis when they are getting married. He will never be there at their first day in school or when they graduate from college. He would miss all that. He has broken his promises and I have broken mine. I should have waited but instead of what I had promised I pulled the plug and took the chance from his sisters, his mother, his friends, our children, his nieces and nephews from saying goodbye to Derek. I just took that chance from everyone. I never gave him the chance for a miracle. I have just let him go. I just pulled the plug. I felt so guilty because of all this. If I wouldn´t have the kids, I wouldn't be here anymore. The kids are my one and only. They are my hope, my chance, my support, my future. They are everything what I have left of Derek and that is the reason why I will always love and support them. I would even give my life for theirs, if it would be necessary.

"Mommy, when are we finally going to be home?" asked me Zola totally impatient and pulled me out of my daydreaming. Since I promised her for a princess tea party tonight she was in a fluster and asked me every few minutes when we will arrive home.

"The ferry boat is already at the dock and in ten minutes we will be at home, Sweety." I tell her. She was satisfied with my answer and looked again outside of the window. She was such a nice, little girl and although she didn't really understand why her father was gone and where he went to she knew that he would never come back. Since Derek passed away she secluded herself and got a little bit shy. She played less often with Sofia and the other kids from the nursery. She really missed her Dad and she couldn't really deal with Derek's loss.

A loud noise was heard which was the sign that the ferry boat has arrived pulled me one more time out of my daydream. I started the motor and pulled slowly away. A few minutes later we have left the ferry and another ten minutes later we arrived at home.

At home, there was a foreign car parked in the driveway. I immediately had a strange feeling, but I suppressed it. I just couldn't bear more catastrophes or things like that. It was just too much. I stuck to the idea that it was a friend of Amelia or just someone who took the wrong road.

I parked the car at the side and as soon as I turned off the engine, Zola unlocked her car seat, eager to get off the car. She pushed me also to get off the car. She just couldn't wait any longer to have another tea party, although it wouldn't be no more like it was in the past.

I got off the car and withdrew Bailey and Ellis, when a man turned the corner and said, "Excuse me, but this is a private property. You cannot park your car here." I couldn't believe what this man had just said. Of course, this is a private property. It is my private property. All this was just a bad joke. "I know this is a private property." I said as calm as I was able to. Zola was standing next to me and pulled me by my coat.

"Then you won't have any problems with taking your kids and driving away." the man said a little bit impolite.

A woman came and asked, "Do you have all the documents? My husband and I would like to sell the house as soon as possible." I couldn't believe my ears again. This stupid woman wanted to sell my house, my house.

"Who are you?" I asked her. "And why would you like to sell my house?" I continued asking her questions.

"You must be the woman who is living in my husband's house without paying any rents." she said to me.

"Why should I sell my house? Could someone tell me what is going on here?" I asked obviously upset. I didn't felt like playing pretend now. I took my kids and went to the front door. The woman and the man just let me go past them and to the entrance. I just opened the front door when two other men turned the corner. They came into my direction. It seemed like they were talking about the shape of the house. The voice of this one man was just so similar to me, he gave me a chill. I would recognise this voice everywhere although I didn't hear him for almost a year. I shook my head and said to myself, "This can never ever be him. You are getting crazy.". Thankfully, none of them had recognised me because they were standing with their backs to me and because they were deep in conversation. Zola and Bailey already went into the house. It was just Ellis and I that were still outside.

"Mummy, hurry up!", Zola said totally impatient.

"I will be right there, Zozo." I answered. The men heard us talking and turned around. I froze. He looked directly at me. I dropped my keys with shock. Derek was alive. He was standing in front of me. I would recognise his face everywhere.

Thousand thoughts bustled around my head. I was totally numbed. Derek was alive although this was impossible because I stabled the life supported measures after he was declared as brain death. Amelia always reproached me because of this. She believes she could have saved him. That he could still be alive, what he actually was. Undoubtedly, this was Derek. I stared at him and he stared back. The other man looked at here and there. He was really confused.

Suddenly I heard voices behind me. One of them was Amelia's voice. She was upset about something. "Listen to me. I'm living here. This house is my sister-in-law's. It is, but not really, my house. It's my home since almost two years." she yelled. "Just let me go, you stupid woman." she said.

Then I heard the woman screamed, "Ow!" and Amelia was right by my side.

"Why are you standing outside?" she asked me, surprised. She took the keys I dropped and after I didn't answer her question, she followed my gaze to Derek. She also froze. "Derek!" she said.

"Your subletters are really impolite. They are like a vermin. These kids will ruin the whole house. It is the right time to sell the house, Honey." she said and went to Derek. Then she kissed him. "Don't stare at him." she said to Amelia and I.

"Meredith!" Amelia said. She came to me and took Ellis. Then she paced her other hand on my back and continued saying, "Let's go inside before you a catch cold.". I couldn't say anything but I could move, so I just nod. "Would you like to come inside, too?" Amelia asked the four people. The woman affirmed and the four followed us inside. I heard Zola and Bailey playing inside Zola's room.


	2. Confusion and Lies

**Thank you for your reviews. Don´t worry this is a story about Meredith and Derek and not about Derek being married to another woman!**

 **And also many thanks to my Beta AxCalzona.**

Amelia's POV

I was at my way home after a forty hour shift. I was really tired and exhausted. I just wanted to be in my bed and forget everything around me. Everything went wrong. Owen and I are ignoring each other again and Meredith and I argued continuously. Only today I have accused her that she took every chance from me for saying goodbye to Derek. I was so angry that I told her that she has just let him die and never gave me a chance to save him or to say goodbye. I knew that it is unfair to reproach to her, but I couldn't do anything else. I was asking myself everyday what would have happened if Meredith would have called me, if she would have given me the chance to make some tests. Deep in my heard I knew that I wouldn't have been able to save him but this doesn't change the fact that I was deadly furious, sad and hurt. Every man that I have ever loved has died. My Dad, Ryan, my baby, my brother, they were all dead. I just couldn't lose anyone else, I couldn't bear much more. That´s also the reason why I couldn't accept my feelings for Owen. I was an angel of death and he doesn't deserve to die. I knew that this was selfish but I just wanted to protect myself because if he would also die I just wouldn't be able to survive this. I was just so broken. I couldn't accept the grief one more time. I wasn't even on Derek's funeral because if I would have been there, his death would have become reality and the grief would have gained the upper hand and I would probably have started to take drugs again, but I didn't want to be like this ever again. I didn't want to take drugs again and almost kill myself. I just wanted to live. I want to be happy just once in my life, but this would ever be denied to me.

I parked my car offside so Meredith could drive away at any time but especially because I wasn't able to park on Derek´s parking place. It would feel so wrong if my car would stand on the place where his car always were, the car in which he had the accident., the car which has claimed his death or which was at least the beginning of the events that have finally claimed his death. That was just so wrong.

I shook myself and set aside all of my thoughts which had at least something to do with Derek. I got out of my car and locked it up. When I went to the house I already had a bad feeling. There was a foreign car parking in front of the house, seems that someone visited Meredith. Maybe they were some friends which she has made while she was on whatever place she was, during her pregnancy. I put the bad feeling away and went to the front yard. Just before I reach the front yard a man and a woman approached me.

"You cannot get in there. You are not allowed to enter this property." The woman told me. What she said didn't bother me pretty much and I tried to ignore her but she held me on my arm.

"Listen to me. I'm living here. This house is my sister-in-law's. It is, but not really, my house. It's my home since almost two years." I yelled. I removed my arm or at least I tried to because she just held on to me tighter. "Just let me go, you stupid woman." I said quieter.

Now the man butted in and suggested the woman to release my arm, but I didn't care about this. I braced myself and tried to get my arm back and this time I managed to get it back. The woman screamed "Ow!" and I passed by this two strange people without so much as looking at them one more time.

I went straight to the front door, it was open and Meredith and Ellis were outside. "Why are you standing outside?" I asked her, really surprised. Her key was lying on the ground and I picked it up. Something had clearly happened since I have seen Meredith last time. She was totally frozen. She didn't answer my question and I wasn't even sure if she has even heard what I said. She was just shocked and frozen. I followed her gaze and froze, too. Right there stood my supposed to be dead brother, Derek.

"Derek!" I exclaimed. He was alive. He was standing right in front of me although it was impossible.

Then the strange woman from before came and said, "Your subletters are really impolite. They are like a vermin. These kids will ruin the whole house. It is the right time to sell the house, Honey." She went to Derek and kissed him. "Don´t stare at him." she then snapped to Meredith and me.

"Meredith!" I said and came to her and took my little niece. I placed my other hand on her back and continued, "Let's go inside before you a catch cold." Meredith awakened from her shock and nodded. It looked like Bailey and Zola were already in the house which was good because they shouldn't witness this situation. Before we went inside I asked the four people, "Would you like to come inside, too?"

We had to resolve this situation. I wanted to know why Derek was alive and who this woman next to him was. I wanted to know why he has never come back earlier. I had so many questions and I was sure that Meredith would have had as many if not more. The woman accepted and they followed us inside. I could hear Zola and Bailey playing in Zola's room. They laughed and obviously having fun. I just hoped that they would stay there for a few more time because this wasn't the way how they should learn about their father being alive.

I set Ellis to her baby chair and pulled off my jacket. Then I hung it up just like I did it with Meredith's jacket. She hasn't said a word since I arrived here. She was just shocked and frozen. Slowly I stared to worry about her, but then I thought about how I would react if Ryan would suddenly stand right in front of me. I would have probably reacted in the same way and I could somehow understand Meredith. "Please take a seat." I said to them and pointed to the couch.

The four took a seat and Meredith and I sat opposite to them into the armchairs. Meredith had lifted up Ellis and carried her in her arms.

"So, what´s going on here?" I asked into the circle. I looked at everyone. The four strange people or at least three looked at each other and Meredith was focused on Ellis or at least faked it.

"You are living in my husband´s house without paying any rents. That is what´s going on here." the woman broke the silence.

"I live at your husband's house?" was the first thing that Meredith has said since I went home.

"Yes. I am Dr. Renee Collier-Shepherd and this is my husband Dr. Derek Shepherd." she introduced herself and Derek.

"Your husband?" Meredith gasped. I couldn't believe my ears.

"You are not her husband. You are Meredith's husband." I said to Derek. He didn't say anything. He only stared at the floor. It was totally clear for everyone that this situation was scary for him. He was totally silent and no one else said anything.

The other man then broke the silence, "I think that I should go. I will send you my opinion per post in the few next weeks." He stood up, said goodbye and went away. Now it was just the five of us or seven, if we count Ellis and Zola and Bailey, who were playing next door.

"Renee has already told me that there would be some problems with my subletters." said the man who was already there beside Derek. "My name is Paul Walker and I am the lawyer of the Collier family. Dr. Collier has forewarned me that you would do and say everything that you will to be able to still live in the house." the lawyer continued saying.

Meredith's look was one more time turned to Ellis who was quietly sleeping in her mother's arms. "It´s me, your sister Amelia." I said directly to Derek.

"I don´t know you. Stop telling any lies.", was the only thing he said. Derek wimped out. I didn't know what was really going on here. It felt like I was in the wrong film.

Meredith seemed not to be interested, Derek practically disowned me and then there was this woman, which was allegedly Derek's wife, and this lawyer who accused us to say everything so that we could still live in this house.

Everything here was a bad joke, a bad dream, of which I would immediately want to wake up from.


	3. Faint

**Thank you for your reviews! Here is the next chapter. Have fun!**

Derek´s POV

So this was it. This was my house and this was my family. My family that has abandoned me, that didn't want me anymore.

Renee was so right with all these. It was a shock for me that after about a year they were suddenly interested in me again. Especially because they were it that had given me up back then. But everything I knew was what Renee told me. She was so good to me. She nursed me and she told me stories about my old life. She has always been there for me since the accident and she did all this though I couldn't even remember her. She was just so strange.

Since the devastating accident about a year ago, my memories have been erased and that wore me out. I couldn't trust anybody and not at all could I believe anything what some people tell me. Renee was the only person I could trust. She has proven this more than once in the last year. She was the one who has paid millions of dollars that they have moved me to a special clinic in Washington though they had already pulled the plug. She was the one who had paid for my stay and for the elaborate therapies. She was the one who has indulged my every whims and who stayed by my side though I couldn't even remember her. She did all this for me. She has proven me so often how much she loved me and that´s why I have married her a few weeks ago. And though all this everything just felt so wrong. I felt nothing for her, just absolutely nothing but I have still married her because I have the hope that one day I will get my memories and with this also my feelings for her back. She was such a great woman and she deserved to be loved.

But then when this fair-haired woman with the baby came, that was someway different. I knew that I knew her from somewhere and then there was also this strange feeling in my chest. My whole body tingled, but I just couldn't say what that was and where it came from. I have never felt something like this before or at least I couldn't remember that I have felt something like this before. I wasn't able to recognize this feeling. I was sure that it wasn't a negative feeling but rather a consistently positive one, but nevertheless I wasn't able to say if it was joy, love, affection or amazement.

This woman looked just so familiar to me. It seemed to me like I would have known her my entire life, but I couldn't recognize her and that was what made me furious, angry and sad at the same time.

But that wasn't everything because there was another woman, who looked a little bit like me, but she wasn't familiar to me. My memories were just so messed up and I didn't know what I could do against it.

"So, what´s going on here?" said the brown-haired woman and pulled me out of my daydream. I have totally forgotten that we were currently in the house, my house, to talk about the planned selling or we wanted to talk about it, because other than the brown-haired woman just this minute, no one else has said a word. Despite of this, the silence didn't want to end, Renee, Paul, the estimator for the house and I just looked at each other.

I didn't know what I should say, I don't even knew myself, much more what was happening here. That was why I was so relieved when Renee initiated, "You are living in my husband´s house without paying any rents. That is what´s going on here." with this a conversation started, also it was a pretty inquisitive conversation.

"I live at your husband's house?" asked the fair-haired woman with the baby in her arm immediately. The baby was really cute. She had beautiful blue eyes and when I looked closer, I could perceive line of its dark hair. I didn't knew where the thought came from, but I simply knew, that I wanted to have children, a house full of children.

"Yes. I am Dr. Renee Collier-Shepherd and this is my husband Dr. Derek Shepherd." Renee continued with the conversation.

"Your husband?" the woman with the baby gasped. She sounded sad, surprised and really disappointed at the same time. I couldn't help but feel really sorry for her, I didn't know where all this came from and I felt so helpless and uncomfortable.

These feelings were reinforced by the brown-haired woman, "You are not her husband. You are Meredith's husband." Now at the least, I didn't know anymore what I should think. I would have remembered if I would have been married before the accident. I was totally desperate. The woman, who has talked just before, looked now directly to me, but I couldn't look into her eyes. I was too confused. I stared at the floor. And again, it became deadly silent.

Finally it was Steve, the estimator, who broke the silent and said "I think that I should go. I will send you my opinion per post in the few next weeks." He stood up, said goodbye and went away.

I heard the front door being closed. Next to this room, I could hear children playing. I could hear them laughing. It looked like they were really happy and I started to ask myself, if once I have also been so happy and if I have had siblings. At the same time, I asked myself, how could they have just let me go after that? How this woman who was supposedly my wife, could have just given the permission to pull the plug without looking after any methods of treatment. I knew that I was declared as brain dead, but I also knew, that I have worked the last few months before my accident, when I was in D.C., on a method of treatment for brain dead people. Renee's research about a treatment for autistics brought us the breakthrough in the brain-dead-research. Through her research we found a way to retrieve brain dead people back into life.

"Renee has already told me that there would be some problems with my subletters." added Paul, now with his normal tone and pulled me one more time out of my daydream. "My name is Paul Walker and I am the lawyer of the Collier family. Dr. Collier has forewarned me that you would do and say everything that you will to be able to still live in the house." he continued saying. He was a nice man, but his fancy chitchat annoyed me sometimes. I looked around. The fair-haired woman looked on her baby and the brown-haired woman also looked around.

"It´s me, your sister, Amelia." she said, now directly to me. This woman is supposed to be my sister? My sister who has given up on me, who has never tried to save me?

Renee has told me about my family and said what they have done, which is why I agreed not to tell them that I was still alive. I needed time. I was still recovering from my accident and first of all I wanted to handle my life again before I was ready to face my family. But as it is, destiny had other plans with me.

"I don´t know you. Stop telling any lies." was what I decided myself to say.

I saw the pain in her eyes and I didn't want to hurt her more with the conditions of my amnesia. That was the reason why I decided to deny her. I knew that it was unfair to her, but I just couldn't tell her anything different. I didn't know what I should feel or think. Everything what I thought I knew turned topsy-turvy with this conversation. Different feelings affected me and made me crazy. I couldn't last any longer in this room. Everything was suddenly so confined and though I didn't have claustrophobia, I couldn't breathe anymore. I panicked.

"Sorry, I cannot do this." was everything what I have said before I ran out of the house to get fresh air. Behind me, I heard that Renee wanted to follow me, but Paul told her to give me a few minutes. And then everything went black around me. Everything was too much for me.

The next thing I remember was waking up in an ambulance gurney, with a worried Renee sitting next to me.


	4. Support

**Thank you for your reviews. I really like reading them. I´m really sorry, but at the moment I´m not able to post regularly because I have a lot to study for school. But I will give my best to post once or sometimes twice a week.**

 **Now I have an extra-long chapter for you.**

 **Have fun reading it!**

Maggie's POV

Today was my twenty-four hour shift and there were a lot of things going on, a new patient that was just arriving in the E.R. had passed out at home. I was tired and exhausted because during my shift today, I had one surgery after the other and there hasn't been time to relax or lay down for a while and just today, there wasn't a lot of surgeons here. Meredith and Amelia were at home, Richard was visiting Catherine in Boston and April and Jackson also were at home. There were just Dr. Bailey, Dr. Hunt, Alex, a few others and I who were still working today.

I just got back from a surgery as I got paged; I had just performed a bypass surgery which was my third surgery within the last fifteen hours, I have been here for a while. On my way to the E.R., I met Dr. Edwards and her interns. It seems like they also got paged here.

"Dr. Pierce." She greeted me.

"Dr. Edwards." I greeted back.

We hurried up so we would be at the E.R. in time. When we have arrived, we immediately wore our trauma gowns then went outside to be ready before the patient arrive. At the time we got out of the E.R., the ambulance arrived, too.

The Paramedics got off the ambulance and opened the door. "Forty-nine year old man, found passed out by his wife. He has cardiac arrhythmia. He is awake." One of them informed us.

They got him off the ambulance and I came closer to the patient. I was frozen when I recognized that the patient was Derek who was my sister's husband. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman getting off the car but the woman wasn't my sister. I have never seen her before. I don't even know if Meredith knew that Derek was alive. Edwards was as shocked as I was.

Dr. Deluca, one of the new interns, groaned and the woman who got off the ambulance next to Derek sneered at him, "Don't stand around, your job is to help my husband." From the first moment I saw her, I knew that I wouldn't like her and now, I'm really sure. She was like a know-it-all, bossy b*** and I have never liked those people.

However, she pulled Edwards and I out of our initial shock, "Prepare ECHO and page Dr. Grey." I told Edwards and her interns as we brought Derek inside.

"Dr. Grey isn't working today." One of the interns said.

"Just do what you're told." I yelled at the intern. The new interns were much more incapable than the ones from last year or at least it seemed to me like they are.

Just as one of the interns was on their way to the Day Care so he could get Meredith, I heard a voice behind me say, "I'm here!" I turned around and saw Meredith standing behind me.

"You know about Derek?" I asked her.

"Yes. Derek, this woman and two other men were at my property when I arrived home. He passed out in my lawn." She gave me the short version of the story.

"You're not supposed to chitchat. You should help my husband." the woman snarled at me.

"Renee, it´s okay. They are still doing their job" Derek said.

"No, they aren't. She is just listening to the newest gossip and tittle-tattle." she answered. This continued for a little while, I rolled my eyes. This was too absurd. Fortunately, one of the interns arrived just in time with the ECHO and I immediately examined Derek.

"Now that's enough. Please wait in the waiting room!" I interrupted them, telling the woman to leave. I could really concentrate on my task but with a constantly looking over the shoulder, worried-wife-Meredith, that was not so easy. Well, she didn't really bother me, what annoyed me the most was the continuous fighting of Derek and the woman who he came with in the ambulance. And I'm not in the mood for this now.

"But she also goes!" the woman said and nodded in Meredith's direction.

"Dr. Grey is going to stay here!" I said firmly.

"Well, if she is staying then I am also staying." the woman said.

"Dr. Grey has every right to stay!" I said.

"It's okay Maggie. I'm leaving." Meredith was tired.

"But you don´t have to." I say to her.

"It is better if I leave." she countered. Then she went away, thankfully, the stupid b*** left, too. I finished Derek's examination and instructed Edwards to run more scans. The interns would only mess this up and this would be the final straw. I decided to look for Meredith but instead of her, I found Alex.

"Do you know where Meredith is?" I asked him.

"At home with her kids, where else should she be? She isn't working anymore today." he answered. Obviously, he didn't know anything.

"Okay, thanks." I said.

I was about to continue looking after Meredith but Alex stopped me, "Why did you ask? What is going on?"

"Nothing." I only said.

"Something is going on; otherwise you wouldn't ask me about Meredith." Alex continued.

"It's not my place to say." I answered.

"Just tell me what´s going on." Alex insisted. He had a worried expression in his eyes.

"Derek is alive." I tell him.

"What?" I heard Dr. Bailey and Alex saying at the same time. I turned around and surely, Dr. Bailey, the new chief, was there. She shouldn't be out here, she should be sitting in her office and doing some paperwork but instead she is wandering around the hospital and eavesdropping on other people's conversations.

"Stop telling such stories and don't tell Grey anything. The poor woman has been through enough already." she told me.

"You don't believe me." I said.

"Of course, I do not believe you. We have buried Derek about a year ago. You were there." she answered.

"Yes, don't you think that I know all these?" I said.

"Stop arguing!" Alex interrupted us. "It would be the best if you tell us the story from the beginning but not here." he continued saying. I nodded and we stepped into the next room.

"So, how did you come to this preposterous idea, that Derek is still alive?" Dr. Bailey asked me promptly.

"Edwards is just checking his scans right now." I only say.

"Right from the beginning." Bailey reminded me what we have agreed, so I told them the story right from the beginning but I didn't mention Meredith for now. Bailey and Alex were really shocked.

"Does Meredith know?" asked Alex.

"Of course she knows. Why else would I be looking for her?" I asked back, because of this, I earned warning looks from both of them.

"Why did you tell her straightaway?" Alex asked me.

"She had already known it. Derek, his supposed-to-be-wife and two other men were at her property when she came home. Derek passed out in her lawn." I told them everything I knew.

"And?" Dr. Bailey asked me.

"And what?" I asked her back.

"What else did she say?" she asked me more precisely.

"That is everything that she has told me before she left. While Edwards brings Derek to the EKG, I wanted to talk to her but I couldn't find her." was my answer to Bailey's question.

"I think I know where she is." Alex said and we got going.

Alex guided us into the basement of the hospital. "Are you sure that she is somewhere in the basement?" I asked Alex.

"Yes. Just think. She doesn't want to see anyone but she also doesn't want to leave the hospital in case there is something wrong with Derek. If you were her, where would you go?" Alex asked Dr. Bailey and me.

"I would never ever go to the basement." I said.

"Meredith would. Good thinking, Karev." Dr. Bailey praised Alex. "It seems like you know Grey, pretty well." she continued saying. "The basement; this didn´t come to my mind. A few years ago, she hid herself and Zola in the basement, didn´t she?" Bailey said.

"Why would Meredith hide with Zola?" I asked confused.

This has happened pretty often in the past. All these people know Meredith much better than I do. They know what she has been through and which subjects they shouldn't talk about around her. And I, her very own sister, know nothing. I just felt so stupid sometimes.

"Back then, Janet, the social worker, wanted to take Zola from Meredith and Derek, because Meredith and Derek were apart after Meredith had manipulated the result of Derek's trial. Meredith had also lost her job. Anyway, Meredith was in panic and had taken Zola with her and hid in the basement." Alex told me the story.

I looked around more self-consciously, somebody walked over my grave. I have never liked basements, they have always been creepy to me and that was why I couldn't think about hiding myself in the basement. "And where exactly did she hide back then?" I asked.

"I don't know. Back then, Christina found her. I don't know exactly where she has hidden." Alex answered.

"Does that mean we have to look for her in the whole basement?" I asked terrified.

"That's what it means." Dr. Bailey answered. I groaned. This will be a long day.

We started looking for Meredith. The basement was really big and mainly used as a storage area. That was really a waste. There where so many possibilities what you could do with this space. You could make more ORs or labs. The possibilities were sheer endless. We looked from one room to the other but we couldn't find Meredith. We have been searching for a little while when Edwards paged me. The results from Derek's EKG were ready. While Alex and Bailey were still looking for Meredith, I was on my way to Edwards.

I found her immediately; she showed me the result of the scans. It was fine. I couldn't see any arrhythmias but the ultrasound has showed me an abnormality. And also the results from the blood test which I had ordered before showed me also some disagreements. "Run a few more tests and request his medical report." was what I told Edwards to do next. Right after this, I went back to Dr. Bailey and Alex and helped them looking for Meredith.

When I arrived in the basement, I found the two of them staring in front of a door. "What's going on?" I ask them. Alex put a finger onto his mouth to tell me to be quiet.

"She is inside." Dr. Bailey said quietly.

"Then why are we staying outside?" I asked the two.

"We want to hear first if something else has happened." Alex said.

"I am going inside." I said. I opened the door.

In the far corner was Meredith, she was crying silently. "He has forgotten me and he has married another woman." she repeated always and always to herself. I went to her and put my arm around her.

Alex also stepped inside and put an arm around her. Even Dr. Bailey did it. The three of us were sitting around Meredith and had simultaneously put an arm around her. None of us said anything; also Meredith has stopped her horrible chant. Slowly, she has stopped crying. A few sobs escaped her from time to time. I lost track of time of how long we stayed there.

After sometime, Dr. Bailey got paged. Then it was only the two of us who were sitting next to Meredith and had put an arm around her. We were sitting many hours here, there was a constant coming and going but Meredith was never alone. At least one of us was always with her. We gave her what she just needed. We gave her safety.

Derek was alive. He wasn't dead. Forgetting her was not the worst thing that could have happened. His memories would come back sooner or later. And everything will be over and everything would be like it was before Derek's accident or even better. Everything would turn to out well but until that time, we could only be there for Meredith and hope that Derek's memories would come back soon. And until this happen, it will be a long road and there will be a lot of pain for Meredith but, hopefully, with our support, she will be able to go through this.

Meredith is a strong woman but what's more important, is that she has us. She has marvellous friends, a great sister-in-law, the best children of the whole world and she has me. We will always stand by her side. We are her family and it doesn't matter what will happen in the future, we will always be there for her.


	5. Renee's Plan

**I´m sorry that you had to wait for such a long time but the last week was really stressful. But now I give you some more answers to the question how it is possible that Derek is still alive!**

 **Have fun reading the chapter!**

Renee's POV

Now this woman is here again. I didn't know what Derek saw in her. She was tired, starved and she was kind of old. She just wasn't his type. She was dark and twisty and somehow also sad. She just wasn't the woman for him. She was one of the women who turns men's head, sleeps with them and then leaves them.

Sooner or later she would break Derek's heart; however, I on the other hand, would never ever break Derek's heart. I will love him for all eternity. I am the perfect woman for him and I have already proven this more than once. I was the one who has saved him and not this woman. This woman had just pulled the plug; she had just given up on him. I will never understand how someone can just do that. Fortunately, at that time, I have had already hired a private detective right after Derek and I's first kiss when he ran away like a flushed horse. The detective followed Derek's wife into the hospital where they have brought Derek. He immediately told me when he saw that Derek had this accident and that they wanted to pull the plug and I have ruled everything. They have pulled the plug and right after that they brought him away just like they do with every dead body. But unlike normal dead bodies they didn't brought him to the morgue, instead, they brought him to a secluded patient's room, where they connected him again with the life supporting measures and in the dead of the night, they moved him to D.C.

Back then, I have told the head of the hospital that he would be perfect for our trial, which was about retrieving brain dead people back to life. I also told him that the trial wasn't well-engineered and that because of this no one, also not the family, was allowed to know that he would be participating. Actually, a part of that was right.

A moment ago, the woman stood up and went away. "Where are you going? We are supposed to wait here!" I called her but she ignored me and kept moving. Ignoring me, that was what everyone was good at. My parents have ignored me. They only had their little autistic girl in their mind. And as much as I love my sister, I have always been jealous of her because of that. Nevertheless, I have made curing her illness my mission in life.

My classmates have also ignored me because I was a little bit chubby when I was a child. They have teased me and most of the time, I was alone. My fiancé had ignored me, too, when he eloped with another woman, because I was too complicated for him.

The only one, who did not ignore me completely, at least at the beginning, was Derek. He always had an open ear for me and he had always helped me with my research. Without him, I would never have made those progresses that I have in the last year. He was always there for me and I have always hit it off with him... until our first kiss. Back then, he has interrupted the kiss and ran away. I didn't know what was going on. The only thing that he said was something about a woman and then he was so confused that he had forgotten to take his phone and his keys with him before running away. And to top it all, the woman had called him and wanted to talk to him. It was exactly this woman who had just left the waiting room and who had ignored me completely.

If this woman would know everything that I have done right after the detective informed me about Derek's accident. I have sent falsified divorce papers with the help of our family lawyer, Paul to a notary with the date of last week. Then, I have bought myself an engagement ring and made my apartment look like Derek was living with me at that place. Of course, I hadn't put Meredith's address on the divorce papers. Instead, I have put the address of my family's rest house and the number of the secretary of our family's lawyer on the divorce papers. Everything was perfectly planned to the last detail.

Derek arrived at D.C. and they started with the treatment. The treatment worked and within about three months, he woke up. After this, he came to a rehab centre. I had taken those times off so that I was able to look after him. I love this man. I have told him stories from the time we have been together but of course I have told him other stories, too. I have also told him stories about his big family which was against his divorce from his wife and against us being together. I have researched a little bit online so I was able to tell him enough about his family but I still didn't tell him anything about his siblings, so he couldn't get any longings for them. Whenever I didn't know the answer, I told him that he hardly spoke about them because they had disappointed him so much and I always brought the excuse that I have never met them. And his wife, I have dragged her down as much as I could. I told him that she had kicked him out of their house because she wanted to live together with another man and that this was the reason why he went to D.C. and that we have met there at work and fell in love immediately. I have also told Derek that his family thought that he was dead and he has agreed not tell them immediately about him being alive. Of course, the president also knew that Derek was still alive, else Derek wouldn't have any papers but I have told my story to the president in a believable way. I wanted to protect the man that I loved so much and I was willing to do everything for us.

I did everything so that he will be fine. I paid for the transportation; I paid for the treatments and for the rehab. I paid for everything. I even bribed the undertaker to bury an empty coffin without telling anyone that there was no corpse.

And by the time I got Derek to agree to marry me, despite his amnesia, we've decided to be married in a small church. At the wedding, there were only my parents, my sister, our lawyer and some of my best friends. The small church was decorated to be very classy and pretty. I have worn a beautiful white dress and Derek has worn a black suit. All in all, the ceremony was perfect and really beautiful.

After this, we went to a small hotel in the Caribbean. At that time, there have also been a lot of parents with their kids who still hadn't gone to school on vacation. It was warm enough and it wasn't yet high season and the children hadn't had to go to school. That was the first time when Derek asked me more about his family. He wanted to see something, anything, what would help him to get any of his memories and feelings for me back. Of course, I wanted to keep everything away from him, but Derek urged me more and more and every time, I called Paul. He was the one who suggested the idea to bring Derek back in Seattle to sell his house but it did not go as planned… everything is slowly going down the drain. And now, I am sitting in a waiting room in this big hospital and waiting for my husband, while his other wife, had just went away.

I had been waiting a few hours, when a doctor came and told me that they wanted to run some more tests and that he had to stay overnight. She also asked me in which hospital he was treated the last time because of his health record. I willingly told her everything because sooner or later they would have learned it anyway and me being cooperative wasn't so noticeable. In the hospital, everyone seems just coming and going. Doctors and nurses dashed around and there was a certain rush evident but it was a structured and planned rush. Everything proceeds after a certain pattern, observing the busy goings-on calmed me a little bit down. After sometime, Paul came and we started to talk about God and the world but especially we talked about our plan but we did in a way in which the others didn't notice it. We've known each other for a very long time now and we had planned a lot of things together, we had our own way to make plans. The most important thing was that we were able to continue the sentences of the other in our head and that we only used single words. When we were done planning, I decided to stroll the hospital hall, I will wait as long as they wanted me to until they allowed me to go and see Derek.


	6. Mama Shepherd

**Thanks for your numerous reviews!**

 **Here is the next chapter! I'm sorry that you had to wait for such a long time but at the moment there are a lot things going on and I don´t have so much time to write as I would like to have. But it will get better soon!**

 **And now have fun while reading the next chapter!**

Amelia's POV

Many hours have already passed since they have brought Derek to the hospital and Meredith had left me with the children, alone in the house. I had called my mum and she had caught the next flight out to Seattle. She had made me the promise to not tell my other sisters and their families that our brother is still alive. My mother should see him first and he should get some calmer moments because I was totally sure that if my sister and their families would know that Derek is still alive, they would fly out there as soon as possible and Derek wouldn't have any calm minute anymore. And he needs a lot of silence at the moment.

"Auntie Amy, when does Nana arrive?" my little niece, Zola, asked me. I have woken up the children today pretty early, so that I had enough time to make them ready before we had to drive to the airport to pick up my mum. I have left Meredith a message which I have posted on the fridge. I have also left her a voice mail on her phone because I wasn't able to get a hold of her. My mom should be there any minute. I haven´t seen her since the funeral, but I had spoken to her very often. She had called me almost every day to be sure that I was okay. She couldn't bear to lose another child.

"Aunt Amy?" Zola asked me again and poked me on my coat.

"What`s the matter, Sweetie?", I asked my little niece.

"When does Nana arrive?" she asked me again.

"She's right there. See?" I answered and pointed at an elder, sporty dressed woman with a gray short haircut. She was going very fast to our direction. The children and I ran towards her.

"Amelia!" she said when we met. She hugged me and then she turned towards the kids. "Zola, Bailey, you are so big!" she said, and hugged both of them.

"Nana!" Zola said happily. She was so excited that her grandmother was here. Bailey was a little bit shy, but he was definitely also very excited to see Carolyn again.

After she cuddled both of them extensively she said, "And this must be the little Ellis. She totally looks like Derek."

"Yes, she does." I said with a lovely glimpse to my youngest niece. "Come on. Let's go. Do you want to go to the hospital now?" I asked my mother.

"Yes, let´s go to the hospital immediately." she answered. I took Zola by my hand, Bailey and Ellis where in this special double stroller which Meredith had bought one or two months ago. Together, we went outside the airport where I had parked the car. I placed the kids into their car seats and then I tucked my mum's luggage and the stroller in the compartment. I got inside the car on the driver's seat. My mum sat in the passenger seat next to me. I started the car and turned the player on. Since very recently, our sweet Zozo listened to the soundtrack of Frozen, while we are driving. Just today, we listened to this CD because otherwise she would start to nag. That's what she has been doing as of late, during she was in the car and we would need about an hour from the airport to the Seattle Grace. Except of the music, it was pretty quiet in the car, Bailey and Ellis slept, Zola drew something and my mom and I were just sitting her and didn't say anything.

After about an hour, we arrived at the hospital, it was already nine o'clock. I didn't have to work today and Meredith was probably still in the hospital because she hadn't called yet. My mom and I went out of the car and we took the kids outside, then we went inside the hospital.

We took the elevator to the surgeon's floor. There we met the woman from yesterday. "What are you doing here again?" she asked me rudely.

"We're here to see Derek. We are his family and you won´t be able to stop us from seeing him." I said calmly.

"Daddy?" Zola asked nosily.

"Yes, Daddy." I said.

"But isn't Daddy with Uncle Mark and aunt Lexie in heaven?", my niece asked me confused. Zola is very smart.

"And you must be the little girl, which was planted on Derek." Renée meant.

"Zola is the adoptive daughter of my only son and his wife. And who might you be?" my mum snidely asked.

"I am Derek's wife." she answered in a very arrogant way.

"Mrs. Collier-Shepherd?" Stephanie asked from behind of me. She scared me because I didn't recognize that she was also there. We turned around in order to be able to look at Stephanie. "We have a few questions regarding Dr. Shepherd's health insurance and all that stuff. May you follow me?" she asked.

"Of course." Renee answered and followed Edwards. Before Stephanie went away she whispered Derek's room number into my ear. She also told me that Meredith was with him. We went to the room number and I knocked on the door and stepped inside. My mum was staying outside with the kids because I wanted to talk to Meredith without them.

"You scared me, I thought that you were Renee." she told me.

"Don´t worry. She is with Edwards at the moment." I told her. Meredith sat down again.

"Where are the kids?" she asked me.

"They're waiting outside with my mom." I told her.

"Your mom is here?" she asked me disbelievingly.

"Yes, I called her after you went to the hospital. She is his mum, too, and I thought that she should know that he is alive." I explained myself to her. "Don´t worry, my sisters' don´t know it yet." I continued after I saw her tense. "What do you think, can the kids see him?" I asked Meredith finally. She nodded.

I went outside to my mum and my nieces and nephew. "Your Daddy is inside, but he is really tired and that's why he is sleeping." I told the kids before we went inside. I opened the door and Zola ran immediately inside.

She wanted to jump and Derek's bed and cried "Daddy" but Meredith stopped her and put a finger on her mouth. "Shh… Daddy is sleeping and we don´t want to wake him up just yet, okay?" she asked Zola calmly. Zola shook her head and then sat down on Meredith's lap. Also Bailey sat down on Meredith's other lap. Ellis slept peacefully in the stroller.

I turned to look at my mother; she stood frozen in front of Derek's bed. "Derek!" she whispered calmly and cried. She was so happy.

I took Zola and Bailey so that Meredith was able to stand up. She took the chance to stand up and went to my mum. She placed her arm on her shoulder, "They gave him some sleeping pills so that he was able to rest."

My mum nodded and I started to play with the kids in the corner so that Meredith and my mom could talk without being interrupted by the kids.

"Who is that woman outside?" my mum asked, Meredith stared at the floor. It was clear that this situation was new to her but my mum didn't give up. "She calls herself Collier-Shepherd and she claims to be his wife."

"Yes, it seems like Derek re-married. I have called a lawyer and also a detective. They're trying to find out what's going on, I think Derek have amnesia. I don´t understand how it could be that he is still alive. I just don´t understand. After all, I have pulled the plug and we have buried him. How could that be then? I`m feeling so lost." Meredith said totally anxious and confused. She started crying. My mum hugged her.

Suddenly we heard a raspy male voice, "Where am I?" Zola jumped up promptly and she called, "Daddy!" She recognized the voice immediately and ran to him and hugged him. Also Bailey ran to Derek.

I looked at him, he was awake but he still looked pretty groggy. It was clear that he didn't know what was going on. He was just so confused and helpless. Meredith cried even more and my mum started crying silently, too. I took Ellis outside of her stroller and went with her in my arms to Derek. He looked back at everyone with confusion in his eyes while Zola and Bailey hugged him.


	7. Shocking News

**Thank's for your reviews! I´m so glad that you like my story so much. I really love writing this story and I´m so sorry that this update is so late but I wasn´t home for a week and I wanted to update before I wasn´t home but I had no time. So I´m updating now!**

 **And I hope that you will enjoy this chapter! It is a very important one for the further course of this fanfiction!**

 **And now I have written to much, so have fun reading this chapter!**

Meredith's POV

Now, three weeks have passed since we have known that Derek is still alive. In these last three weeks, a lot of things have happened; we have told Derek everything but it didn't help him get his memory back. He still wasn't able to remember anything at all. Actually, it did the total opposite of what we wanted. Now, he was much more confused than before. We were able to have him staying in the hospital for a few days, so he was able to recover and so he didn´t have to leave immediately. Unfortunately, we had to let Renee in Derek's room at the hospital. About two weeks ago, he was dismissed. Surprisingly, he was the one who didn't want to get back to D.C. He rebelled against Renee, who wanted to get back to Washington, D.C. instantly, but as Derek didn't want, she insisted and they took a hotel room. Derek also continued his therapy in Seattle. Physically, he was much better now, but mentally it was the same like before. He was still confused and he just didn´t really know which one he should believe. That's why he secluded himself from the rest of the world. He wanted to protect himself.

Carolyn stayed for a few days, but then she had to get back to New York because she had promised to babysit Nancy's kids while she was on a congress and her husband was on a business trip. Fortunately, Carolyn came back to Seattle after Nancy came back from her congress. Mama Shepherd took care of the kids, cooked, cleaned, and brought us some food to the hospital and hold long talks with Derek. She was just such a huge help for all of us. I would have never believed that someday I would be so happy to have her around.

Especially today, I was really thankful for her constant attendance. I just had a twenty-four hour shift behind me, when my phone rang. "Dr. Meredith Grey.", I answered.

I was tired and exhausted and everyone could see it. I had dark rings under my eyes, I have lost weight and I caught a cold. I had a sore throat and I was also a little bit hoarse, but I desperately wanted to work, because work distracted me. At home, I would only have cabin fever and Carolyn would annoy me and then I wouldn't be so thankful for her presence anymore. I would be cheering when she will leave us.

"This is Luke Swendway, I have some news for you. Could you come by my office in an hour? Your lawyer, Mr. King, would also join us.", said the detective that I have hired.

I was glad that he has finally found something, in the last three weeks, I have called him nearly daily. Actually, in the first few weeks, I have called him more than once a day, but until today he had always told me that he wasn't able to find anything because the digging of information was harder than he had thought in the first place.

"Of course, I will come by immediately.", I answered. I ended the call and looked for Amelia because I didn't want to drive alone to the detective's office. Luckily, she was still here as her last surgery lasted a little bit longer than expected. When I asked her to join me, she instantly said that she would come with me. I changed into my street clothes and together, got into the car and started driving. Amelia is in the driver's seat.

After a forty-five minute drive, we arrived; the detective's office was in another part of Seattle and there was a lot of traffic. That's why it took us so long. We drove into the patio of the skyscraper, in which Mr. Swendway's office was located. Mr. King has also just arrived and was still in the patio. Amelia and I got out of the car. The lawyer shook our hands and together, we went to the third floor.

With a pounding heart, I rang at the door, Mr. Swendway's secretary opened the door. We went inside and got immediately into his office. I was so happy that we hadn´t had to wait, because I wouldn´t be able to bear waiting at the moment. A look into Amelia showed me that she also wouldn´t be able to wait.

She was as nervous as I was. Luke shook everyone's hand and we took a seat. "Great that you were able to come so fast.", he said to Amelia and I.

"It's what I could do, after I have already annoyed you so much.", I said, slightly nervous.

"That's no problem. It's great to see how much this lies in your heart.", Luke meant.

"Yes, it is really important for me.", I repeated.

"Then I don't want to keep you any longer on tenterhooks. As we have already agreed, I have looked into Renee Collier's past and I have found some interesting things.", he continued. The door went open and the secretary came inside with a tray full of coffee cups, cookies, milk, sugar, a jug full of water, glasses and of course coffee. She put the tray on the desk and went outside.

"Please, help yourselves!", the detective offered smiling. I poured a glass of water and Amelia did the same. Luke and Andrew King each poured coffee for themselves and put a lot of sugar in their cups.

I got more nervous every second. What happened in the Renee's past? What had she done? She couldn't have a clean slate or else we wouldn't be sitting here.

"So.", the detective started talking again. "I found out, that Mrs. Collier-Shepherd have already done something similar.", Luke continued talking.

I breathed acridly. "What do you mean with already done? Why is this woman running free?", I interrupted Mr. Swendway sharper as intended.

He stayed calm and continued, "A few years ago Renee had kidnapped a neurologist so he could cure the illness of her younger sister. You have to know that Renee Collier comes from a very rich family. Her younger sister is autistic and their parents have put their whole attention to her younger sister. Already as a child, there have happened some things. I have also talked to some to some of Renee's former classmates and they confirmed to me that Renee got bullied and had always been an outcast. She has probably always been this little gray sheep that no one took attention of."

"And what does this have to do with Derek?", I interrupted Mr. Swendway impatiently. Amelia placed her hand on mine to calm me down.

"I just wanted to get on to this.", Mr. Swendway told me calmly. "Anyhow, she always wanted to be noticed by her parents and to get as much attention as her sister got. And as she loves her sister idolatrously, she wanted to get the attention to curing autism. That was also the reason why she had kidnaped Dr. Hawk, the renowned neurologist, back then. She wanted him to find this cure for her sake. Of course, there was a process after they found Dr. Howk, and back then she had been diagnosed with mental disability, but she just had to do some sessions with a psychologist. They never sent her to an institution. The problem with the missing neurologist was solved by her working as a research fellow on it as a little side project but this isn't all.

Mrs. Collier had a fiancée before Dr. Shepherd. I have also spoken to this man. As this guy lives in New Zealand now, it took me a lot of time to investigate but what he told me was really helpful. He told me that although the psychologist was sure that she was cured, she wasn't. She still had some psychological problems. She never let him leave her side, she always called after him, she controlled everything and she also followed him to some meetings with other people. That was also the reason why they separated. That break up snapped something in her. Back then, she has stalked him but he never brought it to court because he only wanted to have his peace. Instead, he moved in with his new girlfriend to New Zealand."

Mr. Swentway paused and took a sip of his coffee, before continuing, "At that time, Renee had started to work for the president's brain mapping project where she met your husband. He showed big interests in her side project and they converged. Mrs. Collier may have mixed this up with love and she must have really enjoyed the sudden attention. When your husband got back to Seattle she was totally hurt. She even hired someone to observe you and your husband and that was also why she knew about the accident. She bribed some people to bring Derek to D.C., she must be totally powerful, Dr. Shepherd. And she took advantage of Derek's amnesia. And that's about it."

I was totally shocked by what Luke had just told me. "Yes, thank you.", I said laboriously. An unbridled fury arose in me and I rushed out of the building. Amelia followed me.

"Meredith, wait!", calling me, but I didn't stop.

I ran until I was in the patio. I arrived there totally out of breath. I stopped for a few minutes and took a deep breath before I continued running. Right now I wanted to be alone, walk a little bit. Luckily, Amelia had given up following me. She was probably still in the office and talking about something with the lawyer.


	8. Soon

**Thank you for your patience! I'm sorry, that you had to wait for such a long time. But I was planning a new story and I hadn't have much time for writing a new chapter! But now, here it is! Enjoy it and please leave my some reviews behind!**

Meredith's POV

I was running for a while without a certain goal. My feet were hurting and my lung was burning. My vision was blurred. Today was definitively not my day. I had a lot of misfortune which may also be the reason why it was raining. I turned into a forest path. I had no idea where I was, I just hoped that I would get somewhere, where I would know where I am, besides in the woods, it was pretty much xeric. I ran deeper and deeper into the woods and after sometime, I stopped by a tree. I wasn't able to make one more step. I was totally out of breath and my feet ached awfully. I sprang my mobile phone out because I was hoping that I would get a signal but my phone's battery was even drained. Through the whole excitement, I must have forgotten to charge it and this was what I had from it.

"Great, just great." I told myself. "You did it again. Great."

I continued running. I was already totally wet and freezing but if I would have stayed longer, this would have been my certain death. So I continued running but this time I didn't run so fast. I know I would come out of this wood. Soon I would meet other people on this track. Soon my family and my friends would miss me. Soon they would find me. Soon I would see my kids again and I would be back home at the end. Soon Derek would recognize me again. Soon we would be back together, we would be a family again. Soon everything would be great, like it was before. Soon.

Maybe I could stay in the woods until everything would be like it was before Derek's accident, until 'soon' happens. I could just lay down and sleep in the soft grass and refuse to wake up until this whole nightmare would be over. I could shut everything down. I could just quit but I didn't quit. Some invisible power spurred me on and on. I didn't know if it was the iron will to survive, hope or just silliness but it spurred me on and I got ahead and this was everything, which was counting at the moment. I didn't want to die. I wanted to get home and wrap my kids in my arms and I wanted to tell Derek that I would always love him although he didn't recognize me. I still had so many plans, so much left to do. This couldn't be the end.

"Pull yourself together, Meredith! You won't die here." I told myself again. I pushed all my thoughts aside and continued walking. I wandered from the path and now I ran unsystematically across the woods. Soon it stopped raining and the sun set, so it was already dark. I wasn't able to see anything. I stopped and sat down in front of a tree. I pulled my thin jacket tight around my body. I was hungry and thirsty. I rummaged around my handbag. I found a bottle full of water and a packet full of chewing gums. I started laughing. This situation was very familiar to me. My laughing resounded through the wood except of the sound of the wind when it flew across the leaves and the hoot of an owl, you could only hear my laughing. Earlier this morning, I had a curious feeling but this time, it felt like something great would happen, but it wouldn't happen, I guess. I should have stayed in my bed then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Soon my laughter turned into silence, I calmed myself down and fell asleep.

I dreamed of Renee and Derek. In my dream they have been the perfect pair but then dark clouds came and lightning flashed and separated them from each other then a laugh sounded and they looked up and there was I. I can see myself, with a rod, the same that Zeus had, I was sending flashes off and laughed at them. In the next scene, I was in the forest and Derek was also there. The just sun set and we were happily laying in the grass while we were holding hands. Our three beautiful children were playing next to us.

Then Derek said to me, "Come home."

The next scene was, I was alone in the woods. It was windy, cold and dark and it was raining. Derek's voice whispered again and again, "Come home. I'm waiting for you."

I followed his voice and with each step I made, his voice became louder and louder. Soon I stepped out of the woods and found myself on a glade. It was the glade where we have built our house on. Zola, Bailey and Ellis played in the garden. In a cradle, there was a little baby lying and at the porch there was Derek sitting and with two cold beer waiting for me. The sky was blue, the wind had stopped blowing hard and the sun was shining. There was no trace of rain coming soon. I went to Derek. He welcomed me with a kiss, gave me a beer and we sat down. Together, we watched the kids play until the baby started to cry. Instinctively, I stood up and took him outside.

Derek stood also up and followed me. "He is perfect, our little sun, isn't he?", he said to me. I glanced dreamy at the little boy. Yes, he was perfect.

He looked exactly like Derek, except of the nose he had from me. Derek placed his arm around me and kissed me. Behind us, I heard the rest of our kids laughing. I was so happy, like I haven't been in such a long time. And then a roaring thunder rudely awakened me. Everything was only a dream. This made me sad and I promised myself that I would do everything to make it like what I have just dreamed. I would stand up and continue walking. I would go back home and I would fight for my family.

I have found my will to survive again. With renewed vigor I stood up and continued walking. It was still dark and a storm was blustering above me but all this didn't matter to me. Everything I cared about and wanted was coming home to my family. I wanted to fight. I wanted to live.

Suddenly, a flash struck directly in the tree next to me. I flinched. The tree cracked and it was about to fall over. I ran for my life and didn't see a root and I stumbled over. I heard a crack and I was laying on the ground with an infernal ache in my right leg. I screamed out. Slowly, I checked my leg. It was broken. I think I am able to recognize a bone fracture.

'This was it. This was how my life would end. I probably would die.' I thought to myself. My eyes welled up with tears.

I had no idea how long I was sitting there, crying. I lost track of time. I only knew that it slowly started to get light. Soon two strange lights came and blinded me. They passed me by and made a maddening noise. I started looking around me and found out that I was already next to the trail to the city. I regained hope. Maybe I wouldn't die. Maybe someone would come and save me. I crawled to a tree and pulled myself up slowly. My leg ached like hell. I pushed the ache aside and clenched my teeth. Very slowly, I hobbled in the direction of the trail. At the roadside, I sat myself down in front of a tree and waited until I heard a car.

Soon it was already dawn and I heard a car coming. As fast as I can, I stood up and hobbled towards the trail but then I realized that this proceeded amidst of the pampas and I have chosen the poorest patch to run to the street. The car turned the curve and the lights dazzled me. I heard the squeal of tyres and I knew that this was it, my end. I wasn't able to move.

I closed my eyes and folded my hands, like Amelia, Callie and sometimes Derek did when they were praying, and spoke, "Dear god, I know, that I'm not religious. I'm not even christened but if you exist then please help me. I need you. I don't want to die yet." I whispered calmly.

The squeak of the tires got louder and louder which meant that the car came nearer. I waited every moment that the car would crash into me but nothing happened. The squeak of the tires calmed down. I opened my eyes a little bit and recognized that the car had come to a stop directly in front of me. Then I looked up and saw Derek at the driver's seat. A feeling of relief ran though my body.

"Thank you god." I whispered, before everything around me went black and I collapsed.


	9. Inflowing Memories

**Hey!**

 **Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

 **I'm sorry that some of them don't get posted, but I just found out that if someone writes an anonymous review it only stays 36 hours (so I will only be able to post them within 36 hours because they doesn't get posted immediately). But as I am from Europe and the time zone is different (and I'm mostly posting new chapters in the evenings, so when it is morning in the U.S.) I am only able to post your reviews in the evenings (as I have a holiday job at the moment). So I'm really sorry if I cannot see your reviews anymore.**

 **But I really appreciate that you write them.**

 **As I have to work the whole day (only for a few weeks) I cannot write as much as I wanted, but in satisfaction I have a great chapter for you. This one is really important and many of you were looking forward for this chapter!**

 **So enjoy it! And leave me some comments!**

 **Before you are going to read this chapter I have some questions for you!**

 **Which hospital do you think they are going to? Who do you think the voices choir was existing off (so which people)? Leave me some speculations behind in the comments!**

Derek's POV

A lot of things had happened the last few months, by now, I am only more confused. There was Renee, who did everything for me, but on the other hand there was Meredith, my alleged wife with the three little kids. I just didn't know what I should believe. I had no idea what was true and what was a lie.

Slowly, I turned around and glanced at the clock, it was shortly after midnight. I should have been sleeping by now, but I wasn't able to, too many thoughts crossing my mind, too many questions waiting to get answered. I tried to push aside all of my thoughts, to concentrate myself on Renee's even breathing to finally fall asleep.

Soon, I have fallen asleep. At least I think so, as I saw something crazy in front of my eyes, which could only be in a dream. I followed a voice through a wood. I was soaking wet and freezing cold. Again and Again I heard this voice saying "Follow me." I got goose bumps. I knew this voice from somewhere, but I just didn't know from where. But I was definitively sure that it was not only one voice but more. Again I heard the voice saying "Follow me." No, this time it was a different voice. It was the voice of a man. And I heard more voices. It was a whole choir. They were almost singing "Follow me" and "Come to me." I knew all this voices from somewhere, but I wasn't able to recognize them. The answer was within my reach, but still faraway.

I followed the voices deeper and deeper into the woods. Everything looked so real. It was like I would be looking through the eyes of someone else. As I would be here, but somehow, I'm not. Everything was so confusing.

Suddenly everything got dark and I wasn't able to see anything. I panicked and stopped. I didn't know where I was. I have never been in this part of the woods and I couldn't recognize anything. I lied down and rested a little bit.

All at once it got really loud. It was like someone would beat a corrugated iron very fast. And then it sounded like it was banging over my ears. Then I saw a quick picture of a street flashing and then I woke with a start. I was bathed in perspiration and heavily breathing.

Next to me Renee drowsily asked, "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's alright. It was just a bad dream. I will go and stretch my legs a little bit.", I answered.

She only hummed in response. When I stood up I was already wide awake. I took my shoes, my jacket and my keys with me and stepped outside of the hotel room on the rambling hotel floor. I suddenly knew exactly where I wanted to go. It was like my subconscious was controlling me. I went down to my parking spot. I got into my car and took off.

I was already driving under a spell this late hour through the unpopulated streets of Seattle, until I turned to the motorway. I was driving into the direction of the airport. Soon, my instincts won and I turned to a street that was going through the middle of nowhere. I didn't know where I was and if I have already driven this road once, but I knew that I had to drive along. It was a feeling, no more voices inside my head, which told me that I had to drive on this road.

When I glanced at the clock of my car, it was already half past four in the morning and the night was already disappearing and the day was coming. I was already driving on this road for about half an hour. Soon, there was an unclear curve. Instinctively, I slowed down, just before I bended round the curve. Behind the curve, I suddenly saw a person. I was surprised and jammed on the brake.

And then it happened. A film was acting out in my head. But it wasn't any film. It was the story of my life. First, I saw my mother, my father and my sisters; we were a very happy family. Then, the picture changed and I found myself in a shop. Amelia was here and my father. Two men were also there. Suddenly, I heard a shot and then I heard a little girl whimpering. Then, the picture changed again. This time I saw me and a boy who was about the same age as me. We played together until my mom called us, "Mark, Derek, get inside. It's already pretty late!"

And then the film continued. I saw myself at my college graduation and then I saw myself when I was marrying a wonderful, young, red haired lady. In the very next moment, I saw myself at my final graduation. Then the film went on and I found myself in a big expensive house, there were clothes everywhere. I climbed the stairs and went straight into the bedroom and saw the scene that has changed my life forever.

The scene changed again and I see myself in a bar. I was watching a young, blonde haired woman. On second sight, I recognized that it was Meredith.

"Straight tequila. Really? You are gonna be sorry in the morning." the bar keeper said.

"I'm always sorry in the morning. But tomorrow I start my first day at work so keep them coming." she answered while I went to the bar.

"How you doing?" the bar keeper asked me.

"Double scotch, single malt, please." I ordered. "So, is this a good place to hang out?" I asked Meredith.

"I wouldn't know. Never been here before." Meredith said with a shrug.

"You know what? I haven't either. First time here. I'm new in town. I've never been to Seattle. A new job, so…" I tried to start a conversation with Meredith. But Meredith didn't react which surprised me. "Wow, you're ignoring me." I say to her.

"I'm trying to." she said.

"You shouldn't ignore me." I tell her.

"Why not?" Meredith asked.

"Because I'm someone you need to get to know to love." I answered very confident of myself.

"Really?" Meredith asked irritated.

"Oh, yes." I answered flirting.

"So, if I know you, I'll love you." Meredith answered. I can tell I am winning her.

"Oh, yes." I answered, still very self-confident.

"You really like yourself, huh?" she got in my chat up.

"Just hiding my pain." I answered truthfully. We both started to laugh. After a stop, I asked her "So what's your story?"

She answered, "I don't have a story. I'm just a girl in a bar."

And then the picture changed again. This time I found myself with Meredith in a locker room. I had a blue post-it note in the one hand and also a blue pen in my other hand. "So what do we want to promise each other?" I asked her.

In the very next moment the film continued and I was in a patient's room. Next to me, there was a dark skinned woman with a sweet little dark skinned baby in her arms standing. The little girl reminded me so much of the girl that I have seen in my room at the hospital I was confined in a few weeks ago.

The film continued again and I was lying in my bed and Meredith was lying next to me. My one hand was placed on her obviously pregnant belly. I only looked at her. We were so happy. In the next moment I was looking into the very blue eyes of a new born baby boy.

But then it got dark. Everywhere, it was flashing and thundering. I was in the house on the glade and Meredith and I were fiercely arguing. Then the picture turned again and I was in the hospital again fighting with Meredith.

Then, I was in D.C. in the office I knew very well. Outside it was dark. Renee and I were the only ones who were still there. Renee approached and kissed me. At first, I was totally stunned and let here kiss me, but then I pulled away. In the very next moment, I was again in our house in Seattle. I was lying in the bed next to Meredith and told her about Zola's car wish.

Then, the film continued for the last time and I was in a car driving on this exact road where I was driving now. I had just saved many people's lives. I stood across the street behind exactly this curve where Meredith also was but instead of standing on the road, I was sitting in my car and making a phone call. Suddenly a truck came and crashed into me.

At once, it was totally calm. My thoughts had never been clearer. I knew everything again. I opened my eyes. I haven't even remembered that I had closed them.

With a clear glimpse, I looked straightforward. The car had stopped right in front of Meredith. She looked into my eyes and then she collapsed. I applied the handbrake, unbuckled myself, opened the door and stormed out of the car to Meredith.

"Meredith!" I yelled. She was lying motionless. I took her pulse. It was strong, thank God. I checked my phone. It had no reception. "Damn it!" I cursed.

I lifted Meredith up and brought her into the car. I placed her at the back seat then I got into the driver's seat. I fastened myself, released the handbrake again and drove as fast as possible to the nearest hospital.


	10. Life Saving Idea

**Here is the next chapter! I hope that I will be able to post another chapter before I will be gone for a week, but I cannot promise you anything!**

 **Oh! And I will never abandon this story (not before the story is finished)**

Derek's POV

After I have carried Meredith to my car, I drove to the nearest hospital. Unfortunately, the said hospital I found was in the middle of nowhere and it was not a very big one. I was pretty sure that they wouldn't have a trauma centre, but that didn't bother me at the moment. I didn't want to lose Meredith which was why I had decided to go into this hospital. I was sure that there would be someone who would be able to help her.

After a while, we arrived at the hospital. The hospital was really small. From its size, it was more like a little villa. Outside, there were a few bushes and trees standing. The entrance for disabled persons was also really small and in front of it there was an old rusty wheelchair standing. Above the entrance, there was a plate where the name of the hospital was written on. The name was 'Dillard Medical Center'. The hospital looked really rundown from the outside. I shuddered. I didn't want to bring Meredith into this hospital, but what choice do I have? The next hospital was hours away –hours we maybe didn't have.

With a heavy hearty, I looked for a parking lot which was not as easy as there were far to less parking slots and at the moment the most of them were already full of parked cars. After a while, I just parked anywhere. At this moment, it doesn't matter if my car would get towed away. Meredith needed help now and not in an hour.

I parked my car directly in front of another car and got off. I got Meredith out and carried her into the hospital. As I went inside the hospital, I was totally shocked. The hospital was understaffed and looked really bad. There were doctors running around everywhere. It was a total chaos.

"I need help, please!" I yelled. A dark haired nurse came towards me with a gurney. Somehow, I knew her. Everything here was so familiar to me. I tried to remember but it just didn't come to me. I wasn't able to concentrate on anything else than on Meredith.

I eased Meredith up onto the gurney. The gurney squeaked while driving and looked like she would fall every single moment. To give the unconscious Meredith some safety I placed my hands near her so I would be able to catch her if it was necessary.

They brought Meredith into a room and together we waited for a doctor to arrive. This room was again familiar with me. It looked a little bit wobbly in my memory but it was definitively this room where I have already been once.

Suddenly, it flashed through my mind and I knew why everything here was so familiar. This was the hospital where they have brought me after my accident. Here they had killed me because they weren't able to do a head CT. One thing I was thankful of Renee. She was able to bring me back to life, but for which price?

I had almost lost my family. My wife, my children, Renee wanted to take everything away from me and she never had planned to let me see them ever again. I will never be able to forgive her for what she has done to me and my family.

After a while, a red haired doctor arrived. When she saw me and Meredith, she was in a shock. "No, not again, please." she said totally exhausted.

"Doctor, please you need to help my wife. She passed out suddenly." I said to the doctor.

"This is not real. Everything is going on is only in my head. You are dead and your wife is also not here." she meant more to herself than to me.

I risked it and went away from Meredith and walked towards the doctor. She was one of the physicians in charge when I came here after my accident. She was the one who demanded for a head CT again and again. Everyone should have listened to her. She would have been able to save my life.

I went to the young woman and placed my hand on her arm. "Calm down." I told her softly.

The doctor winced. "You are real? You are alive?" she asked me.

"Yes, I am alive. But it's a long story. I will tell you everything later, I promise. But first, you need to help my wife." I tell her.

"Of course." she said. She went to Meredith and asked, "What exactly happened?" and I told her everything. "You said, she ran into the woods for a little while before you found her?" she asked me.

"Yes, but I really don't know how long." was my response. "I think that she has lost a lot of blood and is dehydrated." I tell her and show her the open wound which was caused by the broken bone.

"I need to operate on her broken bone." the doctor said.

"That's what I have already thought." I said to her. "Give her nutrients and blood transfusions so she will be able to wake up again. Oh, and please arrange the transfer to Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital." I requested.

"I'm really sorry but your wife is not capable enough to be transferred to another hospital." the red haired doctor told me with a glance at Meredith's results.

"Damn!" I cursed under my breath. That was what Meredith had to go through years ago.

For a long time, I have asked myself how it would have been for my family to see dying. Now I know. But the only difference was that Meredith wouldn't die, hopefully.

'No, it wasn't that bad. A few nutrients and vitamins and a few blood transfusions and she will get better.' I thought. I was still holding on the idea to transfer her to Grey-Sloan before the surgery.

Suddenly, the monitors on which Meredith was plugged started to screech. Her heart rate was unsteady. "We need to operate on her now." the doctor told me.

"You don't have to operate on her now! Just give her some blood, nutrients and vitamins and her heart rate will automatically go steady." I was nearly yelling at the doctor. The young woman winced and told a nurse to go and get blood transfusion device, nutrients and vitamins.

The nurse went on her way and after a while she came back. She had one autologous transfusion device, one nutrients transfusion and one vitamin transfusion with her.

"Is that everything?" I skeptically asked.

"I'm sorry, but that's everything we have. Because of the storm there are many injured people which we have to treat and our blood bank is really little and we never had many blood bottles from your wife's blood type because it is so rare…" she trailed.

"Get to the point." I interrupted her in a strict voice.

"That's everything we have left." she said, a little bit scared.

I was left in disbelief. That should be everything? That couldn't be possible! What should I do now? That was Meredith's sure death. I was totally exasperated. I sat down on a chair near Meredith's bed and buried my face in my hands.

"We could start a blood donation drive right now." the doctor suggested and this roused me incredulously.

"A blood drive? Now, organizing in a quick way?" I inquired farfetched.

"Yes, a blood drive." the red haired said very confident about her idea.

"And how should this work? Which thoughts do you have?" I asked without any hope that this could work.

"We will give Dr. Grey the nutrients, vitamins and especially the blood now and then we will start to test the hospital staffs. If someone has the right blood type we will take a few more tests. We will test them for any diseases and if everything is okay we will give it to your wife." she explained me very quick.

There was no time to think about this any longer, which was the reason why I agreed, "Okay, let's try it."

Maybe it could work –given, that we would find Meredith's blood type.

After I thought about it, I was sure that it will work, if someone has Meredith's blood type. At Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital the staffs often donated blood and in New York we did something similar during natural disasters.

In New York, it was a complete success.

That this hasn't been my own idea, I could box my ears.

At least there was this smart, young doctor who kept this in mind. One day, she would be a top trauma surgeon. Her talent was far too good to be wasted on this ramshackle building of a hospital.

As a team, the doctor and the nurse plugged Meredith into the transfusions. And together, we started to test the hospital staffs.


	11. Back to Life

**I'm sorry, that this update comes so late, but before I went on holidays I had no time to write and after it I also had no time and I also needed some time to think how this story should continue!**

 **But now! Here is the next chapter and I am so excited to tell you that this is the longest chapter I have ever written (at this story)! XD**

 **As always I would love to know what you think about this chapter!**

 **And please give my other story and also the story "Lost and Found" from Curly97 also a shot!**

Meredith's POV

What? Where was I? What was going on?

"Hello? Derek? I'm still fine!" I told him, but it seemed like he couldn't hear me. I tried it once again, but he really couldn't hear me. He was just sitting there and crying. I followed his line of gaze and froze, if I was still able to freeze, because I was lying there, well, my body was lying there, connected to numerous instruments.

What had happened?

Suddenly, the door opened and a young, red haired doctor stepped inside. I recognize this woman but I wasn't able to remember her. Suddenly, I recalled from where I knew her. I was in the hospital where Derek was treated after his accident. I ended up with this idiots who had killed him back then. Panic stirred me. I didn't want to die and much less here and like this. I didn't want the same that happened to Derek would happen to me. Also, if they were able to bring him back somehow, which wasn't the profit of this doctors here, I was pretty sure that this wouldn't work twice. Luckily Derek was here. He would know what to do, hopefully.

The doctor looked at my body and then she looked again at Derek.

"Are there any news? Did you find a fitting donor?" he asked.

"Unfortunately not. The tests are still running, but we will give her medication that should encourage her own blood production." she answered.

Derek looked really upset. I would very much like to hug him now and tell him that everything will be fine, but unfortunately I wasn't able to do that, because I… Yes, what was I? A ghost? A soul, that wasn't able to go into the light yet because her body was still not totally dead?

I shook my head. "Don't think about this now, Meredith. It doesn't matter what you are right now. You should better think how you and your body will become one again." I told myself. "Great, Meredith. Now you are talking to yourself." I told myself.

Before I would get lost in a fight with myself said Derek something, "Could you please try to reach Dr. Hunt from Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital? Maybe he has some more ideas."

Which ideas should Owen have? And for what do they need those ideas? Damn it! What was happening here?

"Of course. We will do everything so Dr. Grey will recover," the red-haired doctor answered. She checked some data and then she went away.

Now Derek and I were alone again. I stood right beside Derek and placed a hand on his shoulder, but of course he didn't feel it. He had one of my body's hands in his hands and his face was buried in his own hands.

"Why? Why like this?" he asked again and again.

Slowly, he lifted his head. I sat down between Derek and my body at the edge of the bed. Tears were making their way down Derek's cheeks. He looked so frantic and angry at the same time. I felt so bad for him. I just hoped that all this would have an end soon – a good end.

I didn't know how long we were sitting like this. It got already dark outside as suddenly the door opened and Callie and Amelia stepped inside.

"What, what are you both doing here?" Derek asked surprised.

As fast as possible he wiped away the tears at his face. But you could still see that he had cried because his eyes were already red and swollen.

"Owen told us what's going on and he asked us to come here." Callie answered. "I'll have a look at Meredith's leg and during this, Amelia will stay with you." she continued.

"Oh and we have blood!" Amelia said and raised a cooling box.

"You have blood? Thank god!" Derek said relieved. "Those idiots there are refusing to get tested." he continued and pointed at the crowed of grumpy hospital stuff in the floor.

"Excuse me, you cannot just go inside this room!" a doctor who just came stormed into Meredith's room said. "I have already told you that you are not allowed to go into this room!" he continued really angry.

I looked both at Callie and Amelia.

"You don't want to know the story." Amelia said.

Callie said, "Later."

"It is okay that they are here, Doctor. This is my sister and this is a really close friend of the family. They are doctors just like my wife and I are and they are here to get us off the hook." Derek came around now.

I gazed in amazement at the spectacle. That was my family. I can always count on them no matter what happens or what would happen –they would be there for me.

"Here, this is Meredith's blood type." Amelia said and handed the box to the doctor. "And no, we didn't steal it. We have the permission from our Chief of Surgery, Dr. Hunt." Amelia continued and took a sheet of paper out of her bag and showed it to the man.

As she had portend his glance right, the man ripped the sheet of paper out of her hand and studied it strictly. "It seems like that the paper is real. Which of you is Dr. Torres?" he asked after he had studied the paper enough.

"I am Dr. Torres," Callie answered.

"Please follow me." the doctor said then.

"And what is with the blood?" Amelia asked before they could leave the room.

"As you are a doctor yourself you could give the patient the infusion." the doctor answered and thrusted the box back into Amelia's hand. Then he went outside followed by Callie who shrugged with her shoulder as an excuse.

The moment Callie and this grumpy, wanna-be-doctor were outside the units suddenly started to squeak. Suddenly, everything around me got unsteady and everything got black around me and I started to fall. I fell and fell and fell deeper and deeper.

At some point, I slumped hard somewhere.

"Is she dead?" someone asked next to me.

"No you imbecile. Either her soul or her body is dead, at least not yet." a commanding voice answered.

The voice made my flesh crawl and gave me a chill. I had hoped that I would never hear this voice again. Slowly, I opened my eyes. A bunch of people were bent over me. I blinked a few times and then I recognized them.

"She is awake!" a young, fresh and extremely friendly female voice said.

It was Lexie. Next to her was Eileen standing. Opposite of Lexie was the owner of the commanding voice, my mother, the one and only Ellis Grey. Next to her, there was George, who was the one that got bowled out by her. And next to George, there were Denny and the guy from the bomb squad. From somewhere, I heard someone whimpering and as early as I had recognized this noise, Doc was by my side and licked across my whole face.

Slowly, I stand up.

"What am I doing here? And what are you doing here?" I asked them confused.

"You are here because you are almost dead." Denny answered me with a calm voice.

"Meredith, you cannot give up. You must continue fighting. The world needs you. Derek needs you." George added.

"You have just find him again." Lexie cut in.

"How? From where do you know this?" I asked confused and surprised.

"Meredith, we know all what happens in the lives of all those people who we have known. We are with you and we protect you." Denny explained to me. I was sitting again and stroking Doc. Suddenly, a white beam of light came. A person emerged in it.

"Mark, there you are. Finally!" Lexie said with a sigh of relief.

"As soon as possible, I have aborted my mission and came here." he said. He sat down at a chair who suddenly appeared from nowhere. "Man, man. You cannot represent what is happening down at the earth. Derek is lashing out and he tries to take charge and Amelia is yelling at him all the time that he should calm down and get out of the room. And between all this Callie, a man and the red head are trying to stabilize Meredith. This is the purest chaos, I tell you." Mark said exhausted.

"What?" I asked scared.

"Don't worry, it'll blur out again." Mark tried to calm me down when he noticed I was there.

"Which mission are you talking about?" I asked Mark after a little break. I stood up again.

"Mark had the mission to watch and protect your husband." My mother explained to me. It was the first time that she had said something directly to me since I was here. It felt strange. It was different.

"Could you please leave us alone for a few minutes?" she asked as she saw me stare. The others hugged me and then one after another disappeared in white beam of light.

Now only my mother and I were there. In front of us a couch appeared and we both sat down.

"Meredith, my girl. My marvelous daughter. I'm so sorry for everything I have done to you." she started talking after a moment of silence. "Forget everything that I have ever said to you. You are not ordinary. No, absolutely not. You are the most extraordinary woman I have ever seen. You have accomplished what I wasn't able to do. You came back and you are raising your kids alone. Every day, you are saving lives and giving the love to your kids that they have deserved and that they need. You are a marvelous doctor and an extraordinary mother. Yes, your life is not like what I have always dreamed that it would be one day, but that doesn't matter because it is your life." she said full of love.

I have never seen my mother like this before. She was so sensitive and nice. I must be dreaming. I pinched my arm. She started to laugh and said, "It's not a dream. And don't believe that I would say something like this ever to you again." Now I started to laugh but she laughed with me. This was a whole new Ellis that I just got to know. I liked this side of my mother a lot.

"When you named your daughter after me –that was so beautiful. I know that I have never given you much love, but something must have gotten caught." she said happily.

Then, she suddenly got serious again. "Meredith, you cannot make the same mistake that I have made back then. Fight and go back to life. It is still not too late. It is on you. Go back to your husband and your kids. You need to become a happy family." she said and hugged me. "And now go. And please tell Maggie that I love her and that I'm sorry for giving her away." she said and then released me.

Suddenly, four people in white clothes emerged in front of me. "We will accompany you." they chorused. The four people were Lexie, Mark, Eileen and George. They took my hands and circled. The others also came and winked together with my mother instead of saying goodbye.

The five of us came to a white beam of light. "If you go through it and you wish from your heart that you want to go back to life then the light will bring you there." Lexie explained to me. "We will see you back down. And never forget that we love you and will always be by your side." Eileen said and then they were gone.

I looked around me. I was in a hospital corridor. Everything was sterile and just like how it was in a hospital. But one thing didn't fit. It was so silent and deserted. Only the light in front of me lightened the dark corridor. Slowly, I went a few steps to the light. At first, it was a little ball out of light that was flying in the room, but with every step that I got closer to the light, I saw the inside of the ball, something moved. All the people that I have loved so much and that where dead now, all the people that I have recently seen were inside.

"Meredith, come to us. Don't be afraid." the called in a loud chorus of voices.

That must be the way to heaven, I thought. But I didn't want to go to heaven –not now.

Slowly, I got closer. I stopped as soon as I was standing directly in front of the ball. I stretched one of my fingers out and touched the ball in awe. He disappeared in the white beam of light.

Suddenly, the ball got bigger and bigger. Voices danced around me and said, "Don't be afraid, Meredith. Soon it will be over." But I didn't want to go to heaven. I didn't want to die, not now at least.

The only thing I could think about was Derek. I thought about the future which we could have. I thought about my kids who needed me, about my sisters Maggie and Amelia, about Cristina and Alex who were my persons and I thought about all my friends. I wasn't ready to leave them now. That wasn't working.

And then the pain hit me. "Ah!" I cried loud.

"Calm down, Meredith." Lexie said, who was suddenly with a hand lying on my shoulder standing next to me.

"You made it." George said.

"We will always protect you." Mark added and then they were gone.

My body was suddenly so heavy and hard.

"She is back." someone faraway said.

Slowly, I got back to life and opened my eyes. My eyes directly looked at a pair of beautiful, sparkling, blue eyes. A smile conjured on my lips. I made it. I was living. And nothing would happen now to me. Everything that would happen now would of course be painful but in comparison to what I had gotten through and especially what had just happened it would be nothing.

"I love you." I said silently and with a hoarse voice to Derek.

"I love you too." he answered and he started to cry.

Tears were making their way down his cheeks and trickled onto my mouth. I forgot everything –all my problems, all my worries –for the moment. Yes, also my pain became blurred. Now, in this moment, there were only Derek and I and our love for each other.


	12. Renee's Takedown

**I'm sorry that you had to wait so long, but school started and I was really busy. But now I found time to write and here it is!**

 **But I have good and sad news for you.**

 **First the good news: None of my stories are abandoned (my co-writer is just not in the country at the moment, which is why I cannot post another chapter at my other story).**

 **Second the bad news. This is the second last chapter of this story. But I have great plans for the last chapter!**

 **But now, first of all, you should read this one! So have fun! :D**

Renee's POV

Derek has been gone for hours. Thinking about it, I started to notice that I haven't seen him since last night when he left. Now it was already evening and he was still not here. I started to worry about him. I mean, what is if something had happened to him? What is if he is badly injured or dead lying in a roadside ditch? Or much worse, what if he remembered everything and scooted? Or what if these crazy people from the hospital have kidnaped him or what if they have convinced him of their story and he was now on their side? What would happen with me? I still loved him so much! I need him! But I wasn't able to live without him! What should I do? I couldn't call the police, because he wasn't long enough gone and furthermore they definitely wouldn't even help me! And additionally who knows which contacts these crazy doctors have! I'm pretty sure that they have already treated more than one police officer!

I just didn't know anymore what I should do. I was totally confused and worried.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Hopefully, I jumped off the couch, ran to the door and opened it. When I saw who was standing in front of the door, my heart was in my mouth. I immediately had a bad feeling, actually I had it already in the morning, when I think about it. I had just suppressed and brushed it off the whole time. But now it came back and the reason for it was that two police officers were standing in front of me. They were standing in front of me and I wasn't able to do anything.

"Are you Dr. Renee Collier-Shepherd?" asked the female police officer.

"Yes, that is me. Are you here because of my husband?" I asked nervously and hopefully.

"May we come inside? We want to talk to you about this." the officer continued.

"Yes, of course. Please come inside." I answered and let them come inside. We set down around the small table that this hotel room had. Luckily this was a suite with two rooms.

"Is he dead?" I asked timid. My voice was more or less absent.

"Who? If you mean Dr. Shepherd? He is not dead." the police officer answered me.

"Then he is injured?" I continued asking.

"No, he is also not injured." she answered me again.

"Why are you here then?" I asked. I really had to tear everything out of them.

"We are here because of you." the female officer said.

"Why? What did I do?" I asked.

"You are under arrested for kidnapping Dr. Derek Shepherd and for repeated falsification of documents," the male police officer said.

Horrified, I stood up. I wanted to run away, to flee, but I couldn't. I mean how could they even say something like this? I was totally shocked. Before I knew what was happening I had handcuffs on my wrists and I got marched off. Derek was standing in the door. He had a satisfied grin on his face.

"How could you do this?" he asked me horrified and angry and just totally different then he has ever been.

"What did I do to you? When you were in D.C., we loved each other and then you just ran away! You chickened out and you used your wife as an excuse! I couldn't stand for that!" I yelled at him.

"Calm down, Dr. Collier!" the male officer warned me.

"A s*** I will do!" I yelled and started to deal out blows right and left. But this didn't help me. Instead of letting me go, the officers tighten their hold around my arms and brought me faster outside and into their police car. They brought me directly to the police station and into an interrogation room.

 **~2 hours later~**

"So Dr. Collier! Tell us now why you had kidnapped Dr. Derek Shepherd!" the inspector asked me.

"I won't tell you anything without my lawyer!" I yelled at him.

"You have the choice. Either you answer all of our questions or you will come into solitary confinement, immediately!" he continued.

"You cannot do this to me. I know my rights and it is my damn right to call my lawyer!" I said once again. I won't put up with this. This was humiliating and against the law.

"Your lawyer won't be able to help you. What you said to Dr. Shepherd that you have kidnapped him that counts as a confession and considering what you have done in the past, this is enough to put you behind bars lifelong!" the inspector said.

"A s*** you can do and I don't have to do anything!" I said once more. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and started to look defiantly. If they think that I would tell them anything then they are kidding themselves. I would do nothing. Absolutely nothing. They could go sit on a tuck!

This continued for a while before they brought me into my prison cell.

 **~The next day~**

On the next day, they came pretty early in the morning and took me with them. They brought me back into the interrogation room. This time my parents and Paul were there.

"What did you do this time?" my mother asked me immediately. My mother and my father, both had this really disappointed and contemptuous and deeply saddened look in their eyes. I couldn't look at them. I was so embarrassed. They have really liked Derek. With him, they have seen me for the first time. They were so proud of me when I brought him home. And now? I couldn't look them in their eyes! This was just impossible.

Slowly, I went to the chair at the other side of the table and sat down. I am looking straight ahead, facing the table in front of me.

"At least, tell us what you have done this time! Speak, baby!" my father yelled at me. I said nothing and faced the table. I was so disappointed. This was exactly the opposite of what I have wanted. Of course, I wanted that my parents see me, but they should love me and not hate me. On the other hand they now finally saw who I really was. They saw me and I was proud because of that. I had managed this, they saw me.

"Mr. and Mrs. Collier, I need to ask you to leave now, please. Visiting hour is up. Dr. Walker, you can stay here and talk with your client in private." the police officer, who was standing the whole time in the corner, was now saying.

"You will straighten this out again, Renee!" my mother said now, before my parents stood up and left the room. The officer followed them.

 **~2 weeks later~**

Today the trial started. Paul had of course taken my mandate. He had puzzled out a strategy with which he could hopefully bring me out. He would spin the story in a way that it would like if Derek would have asked me to do all of this. Paul had tampered letters that should prove this. They could only discharge me.

With a smug smile I was leaded into the courtroom. Everybody else was already here. No, the judge was not here. She came inside, right after I have taken a seat.

"All rise for her honor Dr. Smith!" someone said. We stood up and the typically open ceremony with the swearing-in of the petit jury and all that stuff started. Most of the time my thoughts were by my statement. I had thought about the questions that they could ask me and I have contrived answers for them. I had done this days ago and tonight I woke up pretty early and since this I always repeated this answers again and again in my head. I could not make a mistake. Not even a little one. Because otherwise I and also maybe Paul would be in a hard luck.

Then I got questioned. I said everything as planned. After me they also questioend my parents, Derek's mother, our friends, Derek's sister Amelia, and his other sisters were also here, his friends from the hospital and sometime also him. They wanted to examine everyone else first and Derek and Meredith at the end. So Derek got called into the witness stand,

"I call Dr. Derek Christopher Shepherd into the witness stand!" Derek stood up, went to the witness stand and got questioned.

"These letters, are these your writing?" the prosecutor asked him.

"It looks like my handwriting, but I have never written them!" Derek answered.

"You just want to slander my client! Because the truth is that you are the criminal one here!" Paul said.

"That is not true! She was angry and then she kidnapped me!" Derek defended himself.

"I saved you and this is your way to say thank you?" I asked him now.

"You are not the one being questioned, Dr. Collier!" the judge reminded me.

"I'm sorry, me your honor!" I said and kept quiet. They continued questioning Derek. After sometime, Meredith was on the stand.

"Dr. Grey, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

Meredith raised her hand, "I swear." They brought her in the wheelchair onto the witness chair because she had a cast and because she generally was too weak to walk.

"So how was it back then between Dr. Shepherd and you? He went to D.C. or how was this exactly?" the prosecutor asked Meredith.

"Yes. Derek got the offer to lead the President's Brain Mapping Initiative and he wanted my kids and me to move with him to D.C, but I didn't want to come with him. Seattle was my home and I didn't want to go away from there. I had seen it with my parents, how a marriage could be destroyed because one of the spouses would move with the other one into another city also as I didn't want it. I don't want for our marriage to end like that." she started.

"So Dr. Shepherd moved alone to D.C.?" the prosecutor asked.

"No, first he decided to stay with us in Seattle. But he blamed me for that, he said that he gave away D.C. for me and we argued a lot. One night, we argued really badly and he decided to move to D.C. and the kids and I stayed in Seattle." she continued.

"And how did it continue then? Did you see each other regularly or how was it back then? When did Dr. Shepherd come back?" the attorney asked again.

"We wanted to see each other regularly, but you need to know that we both work full time and then I also had the kids with me in Seattle and it didn't really work to see each other regularly. And well, it got worse that one evening Derek was suddenly standing in front of our door. When he arrived we first fought but then we made up. He realized what he really wanted and that were the kids and me. He wanted to come back home." she talked and talked.

Then the prosecutor asked her about the letter. "Do you think that Dr. Derek Shepherd has written this letter?" she asked her.

"No, I'm totally sure that he didn't. Derek loves me and he wanted to be together with me. We even wanted another baby. He would have never ever write this letter. He would have never started something with another woman." Meredith answered.

It continued going on and on and on like this and that made me angry. Then, I couldn't stand it anymore, and I started to yell at her, "You say that you have loved Derek, but why did you then just pull the plug on him? You didn't even give him the chance to wake up. You just gave up on him!" The judge told me to shut up.

"You are plain sick in your head. You kidnapped my husband, because you believed in your sick head that he would love you!" Meredith retorted.

"Oh, really? Derek loves me. He really loves me. He married me." I yelled again at her. The judge stopped me once again, but I didn't bother to listen to what she said.

"Derek only got involved with you because he had amnesia. Which is also the reason why this trial had to happen sooner rather than later. It is the same with the neuro scientist that you had kidnapped back then." Meredith now yelled at me.

"Stop talking about things that doesn't involve you!" I yelled again. Paul tried to calm me down but he wasn't able to. I needed to let my anger out.

"Tell me, do you get some sort of elation when you kidnap men? Does this give you something like a thrill? Why are you doing this, Renee?" Meredith asked me again. This was the final straw.

"You don't even know what you are talking about! You don't know how it is when you are overshadowed by your own sister your whole life, when no one sees you or recognizes you and when you always get teased by your classmates. You have no idea how this is. Derek was the first man, after my fiancé, who had accepted me the way I was, who gave me the feeling to be seen and to be loved. But then he left. I couldn't let that happen. I knew that he loved me and I wasn't going to just let him die! Paul and I had planned this perfectly! I had someone investigate on you and told me about Derek's accident. When you pulled the plug on him, I arranged for the machines got turned back on and that get Derek to be moved to D.C. Paul and I had tampered your divorce papers and he also got a new passport for Derek. When Derek woke up and started with the PT, we got married. Everything was perfect but then you came. You destroyed everything and this is the reason why I will make your life a living hell and why I will kill you!" I yelled at her.

"We will consider this as a confession of yours!" the judge said. Only then I realized what I had just done. I had just signed my own prison term and Paul's, too. Shocked, I turned to Paul's direction. He was staring at me with a horrified, angry and disappointed look. This was it. This was my end.


	13. Forever Together

**Thank you for all of your reviews! Only because of this reviews I have decided to write the final chapter of this story!**

 **I am so sorry that you had to wait so long for it, but this last months were really hard for me and I had only very little time (as I finished school and had to study for the final exams and all that stuff).**

 **Now I hope that you will like this last chapter and maybe you will recognize parts of it! :)  
There will be some timejumps!**

 **There is something else I wanted to talk to you about. I would like to write a Japril FF and I am right now trying to find a cowriter. If you are interested please send me a message!**

 **Now enjoy the chapter! :D**

Meredith's POV

I was woken up by the first sunbeams of the day. Slowly I opened my eyes. Derek was lying next to me. He was already awake. As soon as he saw that I was waking up he said: "Good morning my beautiful wife!". He leaned forward and kissed me. Derek and I remarried yesterday at the same date as our Post-It-Wedding was so many years ago. After everything we have been threw we decided to not just sign a paper which says that our divorce is rescinded, but to remarry. This time the wedding was in a small, but very lovely church. All our family and our closest friends were there. Even my father and Molly and Addison and of course Christina came the long way to Seattle to celebrate with us.  
The wedding was perfect. I was wearing a simple white wedding dress. The dress was an A-line and it had pearls at the top and flowers at the waist. Derek was wearing a dark blue tuxedo with a black bow tie and a purple flower in his pocket. He looked very handsome in it. Amelia and Maggie were wearing very beautiful purple dresses. They were our best men. Zola and Ellis were wearing beautiful, tiny white dresses. They were our flower girls. Bailey was wearing the same tuxedo as Derek, but many numbers smaller and without the tie and the flower. He had the responsibility to bring in our rings. He was so excited.  
April, Callie, Arizona, Christina of course and even Miranda and Moly were my bridesmaids. Richard and Alex walked me down the aisle.

First I wanted Christina to be my best man but she refused to do it because she wanted me to give this honour to my sister Maggie. At least she agreed to be one of my bridesmaids.

While Alex and Richard were walking me down the aisle Callie and Miranda were singing "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen. It was so beautiful. Almost everyone was crying.

Then there was the ceremony. Derek's words were so sweet. They melted my heart immediately. He talked about our beginnings, about Addison, about Renee and about everything we have been threw together. He talked about how his love to me grew through everything we have been through. I really had to cry.

At the end of the ceremony Miranda and Callie sang "The Rose" by Bette Miller. It again was so beautiful.

After the ceremony there was the party in the house that Derek had built for me and Zola. We moved back into it after my recovery.

I couldn't believe that all of this was already almost a year ago. Renee was in a mental hospital for the rest of her life as the jury found her unaccountable.  
But it didn't matter to me because like this she also was locked up for the rest of her life.

"Let's get up!", Derek said suddenly after a few minutes. I nodded and then we got up. Derek helped me up and then looked at my little baby bump as I was already four months pregnant. This time we agreed on not wanting to know the gender of our baby. We just wanted to let our life come and not to try to control everything because I believe that this somehow is the reason why we got to the point where Derek was dead. But from now on everything should go different. Derek and I changed ourselves and got up to the living room where our three kids were already playing peacefully together.

~10 months later~

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it was really hot for Seattle. Derek and I were outside on our porch. I was reading a book and he was just getting to bears. Zola, Ellis and Bailey were playing together in the garden. Our youngest child, who we named Markus Alexander Shepherd was peacefully sleeping in the cradle next to me. Everything was just perfect. Our life was perfect and the lives of our friends. Amelia and Owen got married about a month ago, April and Jackson will soon be parents to a little healthy girl, Maggie is in a relationship with the new resident Andrew DeLuca, Alex and Jo are engaged and Callie and Arizona are back together.  
In the hospital have also changed a lot of things. Owen had retired as chief of surgery as he wanted to spend more time with Amelia. He still is chief of traumatology. Amelia is still chief neurology as Derek wanted to concentrate on research projects with whom he would be able to help other brain dead patients to get back to live. For this the Harper Avery Foundation together with the hospital board members opened up a new wing, the Samuel Avery Research Wing.

After Owen had given up his job as chief Miranda Bailey was able to assert herself against a few well-known doctors. First thing she did was making me chief of general surgery which I still am today.

As I was now looking back to my life I don't only see the bad things that have happened to me, I first of all see all the good things which led me to where and who I am today.

Today I am a proud mother of four children, although I would have never imagined to ever become a mother to anybody. But my kids love me and I love them.

Today I am a wife to a man I love more than my own life. He is treating me like a goddess every day. He is showing me every day how much he loves me and so do I.

Today I am part of a big family. I have two half-sisters, my father, Richard, who is something like a father to me, a very kind mother in law and four sisters in law. I have so many nieces and nephews who call me Aunt Meredith and who love me and my kids, who love to visit us in their holidays with their parents or the elder one's even without their parents. They love to stay in the guest room which we have built especially for our numerous visitors. We even make a trip together to a place within the U.S. every year together with everyone of Derek's crazy family. Amelia and I are not best friends but we are getting along pretty well.

Speaking about friends. I would have never achieved so much without them. They are part of my family and together with my family and Derek's family, who is now also my family, they make me whole. We are one big family and, no matter what the future will bring, we will always be. And Derek and I will always be together until we will be 110 years old and we will both die.

I stood up and took the baby out of the cradle and placed him in my arms. Derek had put down the two bottles of bear and had placed a hand at my hips. Together the three of us walked to Zola, Bailey and Ellis and together we played in our garden for the rest of the day. And today I was sure that my kids will have bright future, where they will be loved and where they will get their one families and where they will have incredible jobs and of course incredible friends.

Just everything will be fine because I will do whatever I will have to do that it will be – forever.


End file.
